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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55096) - you deserved it (5532)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I ran for my school's elections for President. I thought I was popular enough to win. I lost, by 61 votes, my grade is only 62 people. I was the only one to vote for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50455) - you deserved it (9047)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (53353)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them I impale my forearm on a knife that's sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53679) - you deserved it (3308)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by hurts (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (7902)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79168) - you deserved it (6703)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML
I agree, your life sucks (128283) - you deserved it (16251)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66604) - you deserved it (3620)
On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51319) - you deserved it (13048)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47566) - you deserved it (14241)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (73410)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87025) - you deserved it (12233)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (69778)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57860) - you deserved it (3644)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (79853) - you deserved it (6015)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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