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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs
Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML
by helpme / 01/15/2013 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Love
by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
by daughter of a gullible cunt / 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Mary / 01/13/2013 at 10:49am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 7:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by LilRedRiding_27 / 01/13/2013 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML
by CaitiieBuggs / 01/13/2013 at 2:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by frustrated / 01/13/2013 at 1:39am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by hiccups / 01/13/2013 at 1:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 12:27am / Canada / Intimacy
by I'm screwed / 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
- Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of… Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After… Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was…