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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16425
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:45am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>Xeebar</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Elidorranos</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:29am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:06am<b>iBanana151</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:46pm<b>RivalSeal</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:04am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:20am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>Fuzzbig</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:53pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:03am<b>kamiixoxo</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:19pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:41am<b>jesse122333</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 11:03pm<b>JoshMcK</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:45pm

UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of UnearthlyEnemy's badges

UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

#2144492
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (15238)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

#2140359
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16697) - you deserved it (58782)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (90416)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68829) - you deserved it (3987)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94214) - you deserved it (22492)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58066) - you deserved it (21692)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51262) - you deserved it (7890)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

#1973868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44744) - you deserved it (4575)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

#1962577
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58850) - you deserved it (3571)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34871) - you deserved it (3176)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

#1909780
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (35517)

On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73235) - you deserved it (13797)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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