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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (2211)
On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70499) - you deserved it (4160)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (10475)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63420) - you deserved it (11961)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32364) - you deserved it (45598)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40925) - you deserved it (4629)
On 06/13/2009 at 1:16am - love - by iamrose (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60879) - you deserved it (2761)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60202) - you deserved it (13186)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69222) - you deserved it (2546)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69222) - you deserved it (2546)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46246) - you deserved it (16202)
On 06/10/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by rubmytummy (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46246) - you deserved it (16202)
On 06/10/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by rubmytummy (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47067) - you deserved it (2707)
On 06/10/2009 at 12:13am - love - by puzzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (1925)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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