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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8251
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (10435)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (1878)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (3644)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (8104)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (18574)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (2920)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (1084)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2289)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (2400)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (4688)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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