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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11220
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77793) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54881) - you deserved it (4439)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (13939)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (2859)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63168) - you deserved it (17991)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59541) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (3800)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (2871)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (45649)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61856) - you deserved it (3260)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50685) - you deserved it (5144)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (51372)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (45744)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)



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