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UnCensoredBitch

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  • Number of visits : 50236
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About UnCensoredBitch : www.twitter.com/UnCensoredBitch

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UnCensoredBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94436) - you deserved it (19962)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51407) - you deserved it (8607)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML

#1175700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45033) - you deserved it (7519)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55586) - you deserved it (8778)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90751) - you deserved it (27046)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (104187)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)



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