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Ultradmac

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Ultradmac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 256
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ultradmac's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>sdess</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:39pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:28pm<b>SuperdudeGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 8:18pm<b>laurenxxxhacker</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 8:10pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 2:37pm

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Ultradmac's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (2752)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38539) - you deserved it (6450)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (22745)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43124) - you deserved it (6287)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (7348)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46911) - you deserved it (11846)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47099) - you deserved it (14244)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41087) - you deserved it (7223)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (11984)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (4493)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47740) - you deserved it (9092)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55880) - you deserved it (6888)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

#21012735
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (9333)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)



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