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Ultradmac

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Ultradmac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ultradmac's page activity

Visits<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:43am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>sdess</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:39pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:28pm<b>SuperdudeGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 8:18pm<b>laurenxxxhacker</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 8:10pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 2:37pm

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Ultradmac's favorite FMLs

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (1449)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
53 comments

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (2333)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my husband's laziness got so bad that he asked me to jack him off while he watched porn because he was "too tired" to do it himself. FML

#21258768
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by lovelyanimetits (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (1555)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (2033)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (5424)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (3936)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31766) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (13963)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (7673)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (2614)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38145) - you deserved it (2534)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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