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Ultradmac

Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 5:12am) | Search for a member

Ultradmac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1795
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ultradmac's page activity

Visits<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:24pm<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:39am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>sdess</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:39pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:28pm<b>SuperdudeGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 8:18pm<b>laurenxxxhacker</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 8:10pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 2:37pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Ultradmac's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (2214)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (38165)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (40142)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (2582)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

#21348253
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (2073)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - work - by Not Worth a Lunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29893) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

#21347235
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (2389)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (3336)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (6674)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)



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