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UltimateIdiot911

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UltimateIdiot911
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 May 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 9720
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14825) - you deserved it (69780)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62522) - you deserved it (116499)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (460947) - you deserved it (572653)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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