UltimateGIRness

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UltimateGIRness

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2470
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About UltimateGIRness : I am a true southern sweetheart. I don't wear makeup or obsess over guys like most girls my age (13) I show goats for the Chattooga county FFA and I have never seen a stranger. I literally will talk to anyone about anythang( i even spent 40 minutes talking to a wrong number) Don't message cause I use the app. Bye now. Oh and side note: now that you have read this,we are best friends,you have no choice.

UltimateGIRness's page activity

Visits<b>farmboy2750</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:56pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 12:58am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:23pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:06pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:46pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:01am<b>epicx22</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:29pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:12am<b>mayacat</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:39pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:19pm<b>laxnatishah</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:47am<b>teejaycro</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 4:23pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:23am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:16pm

Fucked!<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:24pm

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UltimateGIRness's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

by arw / 07/25/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

by MM / 02/02/2012 at 9:50am / Miscellaneous