About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
I have very particular views on a few matters, yet open minded on the whole.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download for three years on the trot, and I plan on going to Vietnam soon.
I'm also part of a subculture that's recently hit the limelight by a terribly written book that was based off of a Twilight fan fiction. It isn't an accurate portrayal of this lifestyle either.
Yes my photo was taken in the bath. Don't ask why. It's an inside joke between friends, and I ended up liking this one.
Always up for an interesting chat. :)
About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
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Ukeee_X's favorite FMLs
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 11:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
by thegirlofthedad / 01/29/2013 at 4:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by LaLince / 01/19/2013 at 1:14am / Switzerland / Transportation
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
by pigtails / 01/16/2013 at 7:21am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
by daughter of a gullible cunt / 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…