Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

U_GotitDude

Search for a member

U_GotitDude

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1310
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About U_GotitDude : Im a nice guy, you should follow me on twitter & instagram: @U_GotitDude

Message me, I'll reply :)

U_GotitDude's page activity

Visits<b>GirasolNegro</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:04pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:05am<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:43am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:06am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:32pm<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:41am<b>amandam21</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:02pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:55am<b>elial</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:08pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 1:00am<b>Alexis32</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:27pm<b>NikkiRainbow63</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 6:59pm<b>LaylaPerri</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 3:44am<b>laaker</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:40pm<b>MaxWtf</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 1:38pm<b>TheBlackRussian</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:03pm<b>edevenny17</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 10:33pm<b>scissors17</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:50pm

U_GotitDude's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of U_GotitDude's badges

U_GotitDude's favorite FMLs

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

#20123506
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (1547)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:43am - work - by Taco Hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (21786)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (6580)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9833) - you deserved it (26897)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47457) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (1258)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18111) - you deserved it (26569)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (3726)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (37088)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (3775)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10558) - you deserved it (29552)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13626) - you deserved it (29328)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: