About TyroneB : Outdoor and 4runner enthusiast
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TyroneB's favorite FMLs
Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML
by GoAggies / 06/21/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Utah) / Geek
Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML.
by Xerfox / 06/20/2016 at 4:34pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML
by really / 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML
by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
by Arachnaphobe / 06/03/2016 at 6:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
by teflon_hammer / 05/25/2016 at 7:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Kaibel / 05/21/2016 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by not amused / 05/19/2016 at 5:01am / Ireland (Cork) / Geek
Today, I was helping a customer find some shoes. When I brought her a size, she got a phone call. I motioned to the shoes and mouthed, "Bigger size" so I didn't interrupt her. She yelled, "Give me a fucking minute," and stormed out. About 5 minutes later, I realized she'd stolen the shoes. FML
by Saxicolous / 05/08/2016 at 8:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML
by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation