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Tyfanee's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
by Steve / 12/16/2012 at 1:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
by meranda_johnson / 12/13/2012 at 3:58am / United States / Health
Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
by dino0123 / 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
by Matt8 / 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by allbrokeup / 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Love
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- Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to… Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we… Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then…