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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters!! I turnd around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide!! I screamd "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny!! Then I realizd the creepy man was a cardboard cutout!! fat FML
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, an yelld quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensud. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
Today, I finally ad sex wit tis great guy I've been seeing . I tougt I'd found a catc . We get into is room, start kissing, and tings eat up . Everyting is perfect until e reaces under is bd, pulls out a dougnut and soves it into my mout, snarling, ( eat it, eat it! ) FML
I was olding my babby daugter during a ceckup. To reassure er... I was kissing te back of er eadile te Dr. was cecking er earing. After a few minutes... I realized te Dr. ad put is and to steady er ead. I was kissing is and. FML
Today, I Went Fir A Run. I Endd Up Being Tackld By Two Cops, Handcuffd, And Draggd To The Station With No Explanation. Turns Out A House Nearby Had Been Robbd And The Best Description They Got Was 'A Man Running'. I Didn't Even Get An Apology. FML
I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee , thinking he was Mr. Macho , flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out an ended up screaming an pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids an there families. FML
Today, ma auto-repairman told me ma eavy mass of keys was bad 4 te ignition switc and suggested I separate ma ouse and car keys. I began to carry ma car keys and lock te ouse keys in ma glovebox. My car was stolen. I now ave car keys but no car and a ouse wit no ouse key. FML
TODAY , I OPENED LUNC IN FRONT OF FRIENDS AT UNIVERSITY. I AD A NOTE IN LUNC FROM MOTER TAT SAID "HAVE A GOOD DAY SWEETIE! - LOVE MOM". I WROTE TAT NOTE , AND PUTTED IT IN LUNC TO IMPRESS FRIENDS. FML
Today, I went to the doctor 4 a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on mah left rib cage that I've hatd most of mah life. Recently I've learnd to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on mah side all mah life. FML
Today, I wrote a long wall post on mah teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deletd it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including wat was written on the post? FML
Friday 27 March 2015