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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8985) - you deserved it (29428)
On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (4639)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (5737)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (57949) - you deserved it (5694)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (15591)
On 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by smoochie -
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46809) - you deserved it (1520)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (6678)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52343) - you deserved it (2139)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (9871)
On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14987) - you deserved it (44768)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (42926)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to become a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53072) - you deserved it (2368)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50687) - you deserved it (129466)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47800) - you deserved it (4494)
On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML
I agree, your life sucks (5637) - you deserved it (59270)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)
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