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TwoXMike

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TwoXMike
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 301
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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TwoXMike's favorite FMLs

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

#20886196
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:34am - work - by CrystalsDontWork - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50150) - you deserved it (25050)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50150) - you deserved it (25050)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (49906)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45665) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40119) - you deserved it (5126)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (123272)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (18651)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (12630)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (13190)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50138) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)



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