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TwoXMike

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TwoXMike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 885
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TwoXMike's page activity

Visits<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:39am<b>JokerPajamas</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:35am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:53am<b>jillylamb</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 4:35pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:07pm<b>NomadicPie</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:45pm<b>jleon3</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:25am<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 5:36am<b>UsEumYong</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 10:38pm<b>akma9</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:51pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 4:34am<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 10:20am<b>dallaschloe2</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:42pm<b>yupitssoph</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 4:51am<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 9:38am<b>LostInTransation</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:00am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 5:27am

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TwoXMike's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43743) - you deserved it (8843)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87074) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44149) - you deserved it (6849)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (4778)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42982) - you deserved it (3602)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (7781)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (5092) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (3420)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

#20901049
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (2454)

On 09/29/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (4033)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (3288)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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