Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Twisted_Angel

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Twisted_Angel

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8177
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's page activity

Visits<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:08am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:15am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:43am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:00pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:46pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:47pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:49pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:54am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:47am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:46am<b>ReinGF</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:53pm<b>gearhead369</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:47pm<b>darkringer</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:49pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:36pm<b>Ohshitdude</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:41pm

Liked!<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:20am

Twisted_Angel's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH A CLOGGED MILK GLAND. I AM NOT, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, PREGNANT AND THEREFORE HAVE ALSO NEVER BREASTFED. THIS CONDITION IS CAUSED BY MAH BOYFRIEND'S OVER-ACTIVE URGE TO SUCK ON MAH NIPPLES. I'M IN HORRIBLE PAIN, AND HE WON'T STOP LAUGHING. FML

#18698902
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34149) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she startd crying. Despite my pleas 4 her to stop an attempts to comfort her, she insistd that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (7311)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, ma favorita fis did. To maka ting battar ma parant tougt to taka ma out to dinnar. Wa ata susi. raal FML

#18661224
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (5962)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had trid, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injurd squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl an smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I texted a friend offering ma condolences over te deat of is grandfater. He adn't been told is grandfater ad died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, someone puttd dog turds underneath all the decorative riendeers' butts in mah front yard!! The chief suspect is mah curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a nieghbor!! looool Last week he repositiond them in very suggestive poses!! FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (5470)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband an I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment nieghbor yelled through the wall, "Do wat you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (40172)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriand dacidad tat vaginal, oral, and anal sax ara starting to gat boring. Lat's just say tat my armpit is now drancad in luba. I'm afraid ofat a's going to want to try onca a gats borad of tis. FML

#18370889
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (9370)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working , so I put it between mah knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately , I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out , I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34474) - you deserved it (6040)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

yesterday I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend... in his truck. FML

#18286788
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (3620)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States

Today... I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girlhose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriendhen I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15946) - you deserved it (30483)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today , I got home late to fine mah dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles fir mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it , he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (2090)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hurriadly doing laundry. I thraw a sacond load in tha dryar an slammad tha door shut. All of a suddan, I haard scratching an whining coming from tha dryar. My cat probably hatas ma now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15394) - you deserved it (35269)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hurriadly doing laundry. I thraw a sacond load in tha dryar an slammad tha door shut. All of a suddan, I haard scratching an whining coming from tha dryar. My cat probably hatas ma now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15394) - you deserved it (35269)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went grocery shopping . Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips . As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, ( You probably think I'm a stripper or something . ) He looked me up and down and said, ( Uh.. . hell no . ) FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (21968)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: