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Twisted_Angel

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Twisted_Angel
  • Town/Country : So Cali, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5327
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's last visitors

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Twisted_Angel's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (3565)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (3346)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML

#18723513
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/06/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML

#18723513
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/06/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (3680)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (4926)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13309) - you deserved it (37042)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36066) - you deserved it (9018)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)



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