Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Twisted_Angel

Search for a member

Twisted_Angel
  • Town/Country : So Cali, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5309
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's last visitors

AfroCircusManZaketh2112Federgirlmarkusmay16RababcomissmandersxoxoTheMathMajordaveyyyyhcapper44

Twisted_Angel's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43694) - you deserved it (10843)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213882) - you deserved it (73291)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42988) - you deserved it (3253)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (36057)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (7369)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56303) - you deserved it (3241)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (78098)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: