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Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (2213)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13298) - you deserved it (2471)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:28am - misc - by DamnDogs (woman) - Canada
Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (2156)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (17997)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (117) - you deserved it (1385)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (29421)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (16283)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (1515)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (1826)
On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15965) - you deserved it (1731)
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (32974)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38453) - you deserved it (3399)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (5041)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30851) - you deserved it (2783)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (1737)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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