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Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (34692)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (16579)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (2220)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12703) - you deserved it (66471)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18932) - you deserved it (3721)
On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (10515)
On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (5621)
On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (3462)
On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (28826)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58055) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (3807)
On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52570) - you deserved it (2761)
On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (11035)
On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (4115)
On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -
Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (4711)
On 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by legwarmer (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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