Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Twisted_Angel

Search for a member

Twisted_Angel
  • Town/Country : So Cali, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5301
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's last visitors

AfroCircusManZaketh2112Federgirlmarkusmay16RababcomissmandersxoxoTheMathMajordaveyyyyhcapper44

Twisted_Angel's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

#14636660
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (8700)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:05am - intimacy - by lonerjik (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thinks that I am my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a 'prostitute' each time. FML

#14632199
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23443) - you deserved it (4387)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22898) - you deserved it (6622) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (34217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47984) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

#14593479
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21338) - you deserved it (17834)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

#14584819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (16971)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15851) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14402) - you deserved it (71858)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (13917)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: