Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Twisted_Angel

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Twisted_Angel

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9378
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's page activity

Visits<b>ryerye942</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:50pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:58am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:39am<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:30pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:10pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Allyann2013</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 7:20pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:00am<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:45pm<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:54am<b>CARCA55</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:37pm<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:08am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:15am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:43am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:00pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:46pm

Fucked!<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:20am

Twisted_Angel's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (23457)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (23457)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (4162)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (3356)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (9697)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (4652)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
607 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23735) - you deserved it (254660)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (9647)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (40286)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (5463)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (5463)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: