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Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (4093)
On 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by PLU (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (2480)
On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (9240)
On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (5463)
On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5940) - you deserved it (44664)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15736) - you deserved it (7249)
On 01/24/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by Llaurin (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (27828)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (1932)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (4503)
On 01/24/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by crayons128 - United States
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58224) - you deserved it (2815)
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (4571)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14691) - you deserved it (43373)
On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43751) - you deserved it (4114)
On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5067) - you deserved it (35854)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (2729)
On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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