Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Twisted_Angel

Search for a member

Twisted_Angel
  • Town/Country : So Cali, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5336
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Twisted_Angel : Welcome to my world... lucky you >:)

Twisted_Angel's last visitors

AfroCircusManZaketh2112Federgirlmarkusmay16RababcomissmandersxoxoTheMathMajordaveyyyyhcapper44

Twisted_Angel's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Twisted_Angel's badges

Twisted_Angel's favorite FMLs

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14414) - you deserved it (31276)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32467) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (1661)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (16075)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6777) - you deserved it (27574)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6777) - you deserved it (27574)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6777) - you deserved it (27574)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (5580)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (1820)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16658) - you deserved it (1634)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (2706)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: