Twisted107

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Twisted107

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1929
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Twisted107's page activity

Visits<b>PuzzledOrc</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:57pm<b>californian21</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:35am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 5:01am<b>tumblrobsessed</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:22pm<b>laxer98</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:55am<b>Asian_lnvasion</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:42pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:40pm<b>contour69</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:40am<b>ilovebadluck</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:16am<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 8:42pm<b>kumarina</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 12:44am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 4:24pm<b>iIixoxiIi</b> - the 01/30/2011 at 2:50am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:21am<b>chellygreen</b> - the 12/10/2010 at 2:17am

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:01am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:22pm

Twisted107's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Twisted107's badges

Twisted107's favorite FMLs

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

by yuckspider / 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

by englishtrio / 04/18/2009 at 2:45am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

by olalala2382 / 04/02/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

by olalala2382 / 04/02/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

by The_HML / 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Maryland) / Holidays

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

by Noname / 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

by ardenm / 02/12/2009 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

by razzmataz / 01/28/2009 at 8:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous