Twisted107

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Twisted107

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1859
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Twisted107's page activity

Visits<b>PuzzledOrc</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:57pm<b>californian21</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:35am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 5:01am<b>tumblrobsessed</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:22pm<b>laxer98</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:55am<b>Asian_lnvasion</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:42pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:40pm<b>contour69</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:40am<b>ilovebadluck</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:16am<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 8:42pm<b>kumarina</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 12:44am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 4:24pm<b>iIixoxiIi</b> - the 01/30/2011 at 2:50am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:21am<b>chellygreen</b> - the 12/10/2010 at 2:17am

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:01am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:22pm

Twisted107's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Twisted107's badges

Twisted107's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

by rammedbehind / 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

by Nick / 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

by familydisaster / 08/05/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

by WiltedFlower / 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

by nicefamily / 07/18/2009 at 8:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

by hockey9797 / 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

by thatCanadianGuy7 / 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

by Mikey / 04/26/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous