Twi_lover_EC

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Twi_lover_EC

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2781
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Twi_lover_EC : 12yr old me y u put dumb twilight name as the name of this profile *facepalms*

Twi_lover_EC's page activity

Visits<b>lolszilla</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:47am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:07am<b>KingCarts</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:28pm<b>crazyspace</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:19am<b>sarika</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:13am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:53pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:40am<b>liamb1222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:21pm<b>RPAK198</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:50am<b>Lazy_B_</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:29am<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:29pm<b>SintoLive</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:39am<b>Luna_Soleil</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:30pm<b>SNOWshade</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:07am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:48am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:52pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:36pm

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Twi_lover_EC's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

by randomguy / 07/09/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

by ambushcat / 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Animals

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

by Kid / 03/17/2010 at 5:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

by ManInTrouble / 03/16/2010 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

by HotelClerk / 01/22/2010 at 1:37am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation