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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Twi_lover_EC

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Twi_lover_EC
  • Town/Country : FUCK THE TOWN I LIVE IN, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1531
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Twi_lover_EC : 12yr old me y u put dumb twilight name as the name of this profile *facepalms*

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Twi_lover_EC's favorite FMLs

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406 (327)

I agree, your life sucks (10893) - you deserved it (47457)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (2885)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I got up in church to go to the bathroom. I finished and came back to my seat, only to find that all my stuff was gone, including my wallet, iPod touch, and blackberry. I was just robbed in a church. FML

#8948226 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (12353)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (2434)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (5054) - you deserved it (17687)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (17057) - you deserved it (2690)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (19079) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (3816) - you deserved it (24833)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (1950)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (18091)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

#7469171 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (4391) - you deserved it (28698)

On 01/21/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by im_radd (woman) - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (2251) - you deserved it (45052)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (21003)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version