Tweety122888

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Tweety122888

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1293
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Tweety122888 : Army soldier, mom, wife...boring life...check FML every day about 3 times a day on my phone....love a good laugh...and I specially love some idiots here that are always failing LOL

Tweety122888's page activity

Visits<b>elsie23</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 4:00pm<b>trevorr_16</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:56am<b>uncle_jimmy</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:52pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:34am<b>Jishiku</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:33pm<b>NephilimPie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:04pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:28am<b>Adamantablade</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:15am<b>starbuster9001</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:06pm<b>megiznerdy</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:30pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:49pm<b>freakonaleash96</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:21pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:24pm<b>Jackpearson3</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 9:15pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 2:02pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:02am

Tweety122888's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tweety122888's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

by Kiimmy / 10/09/2010 at 10:36am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

by EffinAhole / 10/03/2010 at 12:27am / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

by Hunterxx / 08/07/2010 at 1:21am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health