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Offline (the 01/12/2015 at 4:45am)



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  • Number of visits : 4565
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Tvw's page activity

Visits<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 7:23am<b>skyjayq</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:02pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:18pm<b>AwkwardPartyBear</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Mattribute</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:14pm

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Tvw's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

by tokinallday / 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

by Yeah-It's-Just-Me / 12/31/2014 at 7:52pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2014 at 9:43am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

by anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 6:28am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

by Mandy / 12/22/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

by JillianJuneBug / 12/21/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 10:34am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

by newly passed, newly grassed / 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

by graciegold95 / 12/06/2014 at 11:10am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

by sting / 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.