TurtleGenius

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TurtleGenius

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 63152
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TurtleGenius's page activity

Visits<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:14am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:09pm<b>opis34</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:36pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:39am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:41pm<b>emilyjaynemarie</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:48am<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:36am<b>skitzyfritzy</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:21am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:13pm<b>ollis</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:24am<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:27pm<b>peanuty001</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:43pm<b>RadGhost</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:26pm<b>yahitscyndi</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:20pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:21pm<b>ollis</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:30am

TurtleGenius's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TurtleGenius's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

by A.L.Woody / 08/11/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

by N1ch0la1 / 08/08/2009 at 5:35am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

by MickeyDManager / 08/03/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

by Bareassed / 07/29/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy