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Turock27's FML badges
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Turock27's favorite FMLs
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids
Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 3:50am / United States / Love
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…