About Turnip_Girl : Death Note fangirl who loves her pet pug very much. :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (501)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (33850)
On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97333) - you deserved it (23463)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54611) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7205) - you deserved it (31407)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (4530)
On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (45719)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (3787)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (31955)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (11452)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (2782)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (39298)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (4290)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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