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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Turnip_Girl

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Turnip_Girl
  • Town/Country : UK
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6561
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Turnip_Girl : Death Note fangirl who loves her pet pug very much. :)

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Turnip_Girl's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (2598)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (4661)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

#5862542 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (5775)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (29158)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2076)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (10339)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (12176)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (49747) - you deserved it (1568)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (6080) - you deserved it (24047)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (1384)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (37098) - you deserved it (2124)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)