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Turn's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (46397)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (96854)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (6366)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (62134)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

#14497989
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (18406)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm - misc - by RabbitOwner - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62149) - you deserved it (4887)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

#13865567
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (4644)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18072) - you deserved it (6087)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (4536)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (39723)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48481) - you deserved it (17710)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (4694)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (5293)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7095) - you deserved it (28568)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)



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