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Turn's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by dancer101 / 02/04/2011 at 10:01am / United States / Kids
by Brea / 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
by RabbitOwner / 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 12:08am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by unknown / 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals