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Turn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (5195) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (2613)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (11506)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (6150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (9128)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (9298)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

#17629436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (5291)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (3514)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (2914)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (2354)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (3284)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)



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