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1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2814
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Turn's favorite FMLs

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (10491)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53169) - you deserved it (24973)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62060) - you deserved it (6739)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

#458180
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84148) - you deserved it (4604)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89240) - you deserved it (27070)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63797) - you deserved it (19631)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (5441)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

#30377
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44476) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (16964)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (33187)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)



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