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1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4106
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Turn's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 3:36pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:58pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:17pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:16pm<b>godlife704</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:13pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:54am<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:13pm

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:17pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Turn's favorite FMLs

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

by dumpedattheclub / 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

by Fwick / 03/19/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

by poop / 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

by Jello / 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

by atterz123 / 02/12/2009 at 8:37am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

by Mazzam / 11/19/2008 at 6:33am / Love

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

by j0j0 / 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm / France (Aquitaine) / Kids