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Offline (the 09/04/2016 at 7:43pm)

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1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Turn's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 3:36pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:58pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:17pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:16pm<b>godlife704</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:13pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:54am<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:13pm

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:17pm

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Turn's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

by cricketsins / 05/14/2015 at 1:11am / United States / Animals

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

by I warned him / 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

by NotTellingYouMyName / 11/28/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous