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TurkeySlab

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TurkeySlab

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 August 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 762
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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TurkeySlab's page activity

Visits<b>bkc135</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:48am<b>Spark_Slicker</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 2:28am<b>CammieMac</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 2:19pm

TurkeySlab's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of TurkeySlab's badges

TurkeySlab's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (53252)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40578) - you deserved it (140752)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57790) - you deserved it (21626)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

#1696810
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63808) - you deserved it (4650)

On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11461) - you deserved it (101965)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

#1003972
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (54840)

On 04/15/2009 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51453) - you deserved it (18165)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127850) - you deserved it (6472)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25201) - you deserved it (61539)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
877 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60128) - you deserved it (628464)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (44137)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (39189)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6925) - you deserved it (48145)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (4412)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)



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