TurkeySlab

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TurkeySlab

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 August 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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TurkeySlab's page activity

Visits<b>Destrukto</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:46pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:22am<b>Muffinypowers</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:31pm<b>bkc135</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:48am<b>Spark_Slicker</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 2:28am<b>CammieMac</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 2:19pm

TurkeySlab's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of TurkeySlab's badges

TurkeySlab's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

by Katie / 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

by Gary / 06/27/2010 at 12:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

by hannah12345 / 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm / Intimacy

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

by King7 / 01/09/2010 at 5:17am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

by oopsies / 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

by Labelme / 01/02/2010 at 3:26am / United States / Work

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous