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Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3334) - you deserved it (14321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46944) - you deserved it (2541)
On 10/08/2011 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (4649)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (5794)
On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82434) - you deserved it (9170)
On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)
Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (22154)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, every fire alarm in my house went off. At 3AM. I ripped them all out of the ceiling. We have 49 because the previous owners were scared of fire. They are still going off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (2819)
On 03/11/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by dancer7718 -
Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (3374)
On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (3120)
On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (232621)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35580) - you deserved it (26884)
On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (115412)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (185884) - you deserved it (32935)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15222) - you deserved it (25263)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
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