Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tsojekim

Search for a member

Tsojekim

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Tsojekim's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Tsojekim's badges

Tsojekim's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (116705)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59573) - you deserved it (4291)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54027) - you deserved it (5159)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (6414)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (5959)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

#14813410
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (6799)

On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (4177)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (7681)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (5275)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (22318)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (14825)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (2615)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: