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Tsojekim

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Tsojekim

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  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Tsojekim's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12537) - you deserved it (129083)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63855) - you deserved it (4604)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58380) - you deserved it (5512)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (4435)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (6872)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48293) - you deserved it (6390)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

#14813410
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37525) - you deserved it (7249)

On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (4539)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (8155)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (5718)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (24400)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43618) - you deserved it (15801)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (2932)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)



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