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Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45198) - you deserved it (3466)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (9856)
On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64251) - you deserved it (15802)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (32640)
Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (6448)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (2842)
On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (3157)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (3860)
On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (1673)
On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20554) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3550)
On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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