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Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (70046)
On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, was my boyfriends mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (6187)
On 08/09/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (74463)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55423) - you deserved it (4005)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47397) - you deserved it (2398)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)
Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (2129)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)
Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (2129)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (32129)
On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (12318)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (29952)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48921) - you deserved it (2108)
On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64990) - you deserved it (5675)
On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (3548)
On 06/23/2009 at 9:28pm - kids - by lumi (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52940) - you deserved it (3422)
On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States
Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (10492)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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