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Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18844)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (1193)
On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16946) - you deserved it (908)
On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12967) - you deserved it (5948)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15220) - you deserved it (2039)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17087) - you deserved it (16409)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15633) - you deserved it (1219)
On 09/22/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4922) - you deserved it (38733)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14235) - you deserved it (1593)
On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (3032)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17615) - you deserved it (1404)
On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States
Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (4789)
On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15427) - you deserved it (1326)
On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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