Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Triumvirate

Offline (yesterday at 12:41am) | Search for a member

Triumvirate

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4867
  • Number of comments : 931
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Triumvirate : spell icup and then say "pretty colors"

Triumvirate's page activity

Visits<b>spork_of_doom</b> - yesterday at 6:15pm<b>Fefalas</b> - yesterday at 3:14am<b>bas504</b> - yesterday at 1:56am<b>SandyRae</b> - yesterday at 11:57pm<b>dezire43</b> - yesterday at 10:37pm<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:28pm<b>steffilicious88</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:45pm<b>AlexKing17</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 10:52am<b>EmazingLight</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:46am<b>ctck</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:28pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:41pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:59am<b>cmat84</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:11pm<b>wootwoot33</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:33pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:19am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:20am

Triumvirate's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Triumvirate's badges

Triumvirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (8863)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (6736)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (16468)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I drove an hour to a friend's wedding. Realizing I was too early, I sat in my car at a gas station and watched The Office to kill time. I walked in to see the newly married couple escorting the last few rows out. I had been told the wrong time and the wedding was over. FML

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (67266)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36166) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38087) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66661) - you deserved it (4618)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (4058)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (2864)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (4428)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56203) - you deserved it (9174)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22216) - you deserved it (74593)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: