About Tristyxxx : Married January 2nd 2013 !!!!!
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Tristyxxx's favorite FMLs
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by CheatedOn / 02/14/2010 at 10:19am / Romania (Cluj) / Intimacy
by inthedark / 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Granmacathy / 11/29/2009 at 2:13am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
by nolips / 11/19/2009 at 10:53am / Norway (Oslo) / Transportation
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids
by RedLust / 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm / Bolivia (Cochabamba) / Love
Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
by raebay / 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
by konichiwa / 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Needasafe1234 / 09/25/2009 at 11:24am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…