About Tristyxxx : Married January 2nd 2013 !!!!!
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Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10631) - you deserved it (35352)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (3615)
On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11626) - you deserved it (21960)
On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (7017)
On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (2304)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (8528)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (2412)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (4578)
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (4717)
On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (10536)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (13939)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (3571)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)
Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91565) - you deserved it (9961)
On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38718) - you deserved it (4408)
On 05/09/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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