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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (2920)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9050) - you deserved it (21112)
On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37596) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (53541)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (12791)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4972) - you deserved it (33314)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (9558)
On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7622) - you deserved it (23305)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (2233)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24529)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (4552)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81131) - you deserved it (15202)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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