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TrillionHearts

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TrillionHearts
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1364
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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TrillionHearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (29135)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (93403)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47888) - you deserved it (40067)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (4265)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (6398)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (7752)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (7562)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (7292)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (46491)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML

#14989370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9831) - you deserved it (29307)

On 02/15/2011 at 10:30am - love - by Dj sMoZ! -

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (4064)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



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